Garden Chore Expert Gifts

Unwanted Guests

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

'Look Dear. The first Robin Hood of spring.'

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

"Leave your weekends open. I'll be dropping a lot more of these."

"Just empty it."

"A garden is a thing of beauty and a job for ever."

"When I was young, my mother washed our clothes in a tub of water. Stains were simple back then."

"Thank you, sir."

Leaf Blower Showdown.

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

'Today I'd like to teach everyone the difficult task of how to put a new toilet roll on it's holder.'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

Autumn Leaves

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'Stop complaining - at least it keeps you out of the kitchen.'

'Why don't you use a leaf blower? It annoys the hell out of people.'

Beware of unexploded fireworks when burning rubbish.

The Gardener's Calendar: Start up the Engine

'If you want me, honey, I'll be out here in the orchard.'

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Just so you know, you're doin' it wrong.'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

"Laundry day?"

'And if you don't fancy those jobs to do in the garden this weekend, there's always the golf course.'

'I got the idea when I was blowing my leaves.'

'That Riding Vacuum has given our marriage a spark I didn't think was possible.'

Presents.