Household Chore Expert Gifts

"Where are dishes?"

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Oh, gosh. . . he's sleep caulking again."

"Just empty it."

"When I was young, my mother washed our clothes in a tub of water. Stains were simple back then."

Why do you always get to ash and I always have to dry?

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"You used the right amount of detergent and fabric softener. The problem is this washing machine isn't for dishes."

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

'Today I'd like to teach everyone the difficult task of how to put a new toilet roll on it's holder.'

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

You mean none of you took out the trash? Why you rarely see a female polygamist.

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

No caption. (A woman folding laundry from the dryer is looking at a mouse folding laundry from a mousehole on the side of the dryer).

Unwanted Guests

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

"Does he like those shorts you bought him for Christmas?"

Professional Dishwasher Loading Championship

Tunnel of Laundry.

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'