Household Chore Aficionado Gifts

Washing Line Walker

Kitchen Tetris

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

Looks like I do dishes again.

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

Why do you always get to ash and I always have to dry?

"You used the right amount of detergent and fabric softener. The problem is this washing machine isn't for dishes."

"When I was young, my mother washed our clothes in a tub of water. Stains were simple back then."

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'Today I'd like to teach everyone the difficult task of how to put a new toilet roll on it's holder.'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

You mean none of you took out the trash? Why you rarely see a female polygamist.

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

No caption. (A woman folding laundry from the dryer is looking at a mouse folding laundry from a mousehole on the side of the dryer).

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

'I TOLD you not to wash it in warm water!'

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

'We've finished the dishes Miss. Jenny washed, I wiped and the rest of the group picked up the pieces.'

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

Tunnel of Laundry.

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

"Laundry day?"

The Toilet paper roll...do they magically appear on the holders?