Household Chore Enthusiast Gifts

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Laundry day?"

"Just empty it."

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'That Riding Vacuum has given our marriage a spark I didn't think was possible.'

Presents.

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"How did you get him to do housework?"

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

Looks like I do dishes again.

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"When I was young, my mother washed our clothes in a tub of water. Stains were simple back then."

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'Today I'd like to teach everyone the difficult task of how to put a new toilet roll on it's holder.'

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

'We've finished the dishes Miss. Jenny washed, I wiped and the rest of the group picked up the pieces.'

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

'I TOLD you not to wash it in warm water!'

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

Tunnel of Laundry.

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

"And if he decides not to empty the dishwasher, can I recommend a half Nelson, forearm smash, followed by a Boston crab."

The Toilet paper roll...do they magically appear on the holders?