Household Chore Aficionado Pillows

Washing Line Walker

Kitchen Tetris

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

Looks like I do dishes again.

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

"When I was young, my mother washed our clothes in a tub of water. Stains were simple back then."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

'Today I'd like to teach everyone the difficult task of how to put a new toilet roll on it's holder.'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

'I TOLD you not to wash it in warm water!'

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

Tunnel of Laundry.

'We've finished the dishes Miss. Jenny washed, I wiped and the rest of the group picked up the pieces.'

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Laundry day?"

The Toilet paper roll...do they magically appear on the holders?

'That Riding Vacuum has given our marriage a spark I didn't think was possible.'