Home Chore Connoisseur Pillows

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

Looks like I do dishes again.

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"When I was young, my mother washed our clothes in a tub of water. Stains were simple back then."

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

Feel free to have a wash but this time please do not leave the bath smelling of ham.

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

'I TOLD you not to wash it in warm water!'

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

'We've finished the dishes Miss. Jenny washed, I wiped and the rest of the group picked up the pieces.'

Displacement activities for people who work from home...

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"