Household Chore Master Gifts

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"I'll just mow the lawn then I'll put myself forward to lead the Conservatives."

"Oh, gosh. . . he's sleep caulking again."

"Just empty it."

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

Why do you always get to ash and I always have to dry?

"You used the right amount of detergent and fabric softener. The problem is this washing machine isn't for dishes."

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

"When I was young, my mother washed our clothes in a tub of water. Stains were simple back then."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

"Well, I've noticed someone always finds time for the 'odd jobs' around here he wants to do!"

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

You mean none of you took out the trash? Why you rarely see a female polygamist.

'Today I'd like to teach everyone the difficult task of how to put a new toilet roll on it's holder.'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

No caption. (A woman folding laundry from the dryer is looking at a mouse folding laundry from a mousehole on the side of the dryer).

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

Professional Dishwasher Loading Championship

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

Tunnel of Laundry.

"Does he like those shorts you bought him for Christmas?"