Garden Chore Competitor Gifts

Leaf Blower Showdown.

"Yes dear, you have worked very hard on the garden. Unfortunately though, you've put the compost on the weeds and the weed killer on my best roses."

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'The kids take it very seriously - I'm sure it's their father's fault.'

'If I've calculated correctly, I have two more birthdays before I never have to mow the lawn again.'

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Leave your weekends open. I'll be dropping a lot more of these."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"A garden is a thing of beauty and a job for ever."

When Accountants Rake Leaves

Why do you always get to ash and I always have to dry?

"Thank you, sir."

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

You mean none of you took out the trash? Why you rarely see a female polygamist.

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

Autumn Leaves

This had the potential to get really nasty...

Unwanted Guests

'If we keep the grass short, predators are less likely to sneak up unnoticed...'

'Stop complaining - at least it keeps you out of the kitchen.'

'Why don't you use a leaf blower? It annoys the hell out of people.'

Beware of unexploded fireworks when burning rubbish.

'If you want me, honey, I'll be out here in the orchard.'

Displacement activities for people who work from home...

The Gardener's Calendar: Start up the Engine

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

Tunnel of Laundry.

'Just so you know, you're doin' it wrong.'

'I got the idea when I was blowing my leaves.'

Bonsai competition.

"I sent you dry cleaning to France."

'He's very good at multi-asking!'

"Either you mow the lawn now, or I start the Independence Day celebrations early."

Rhonda would somehow always manage to enlarge her clothes when doing laundry.