Household Chore Survivor Gifts

"I miss the house. I don't miss shovelling snow, mowing the lawn, trimming the hedge, vacuuming the pool?"

"I would be happy to help you with the dishes, Mom, but I'm afraid I'd get water in my phone."

Kitchen Tetris

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"Can you train him to bite my husband whenever the trash gets full?"

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

"Just empty it."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

Why do you always get to ash and I always have to dry?

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

"You used the right amount of detergent and fabric softener. The problem is this washing machine isn't for dishes."

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

You mean none of you took out the trash? Why you rarely see a female polygamist.

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

No caption. (A woman folding laundry from the dryer is looking at a mouse folding laundry from a mousehole on the side of the dryer).

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

Professional Dishwasher Loading Championship

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

Tunnel of Laundry.

The Gardener's Calendar: Start up the Engine

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

Feel free to have a wash but this time please do not leave the bath smelling of ham.

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Are you using the right size nail for mother's picture?"

"Laundry day?"