Domestic Chore Warrior Gifts

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

Kitchen Tetris

Washing Line Walker

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

'My wife gave me that one for washing the windows.'

"And now your General Knowledge Round...Where does clean laundry come from?"

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

Wife taking a photo of her husband and their shoveled walk-way

"Oh, gosh. . . he's sleep caulking again."

"Just empty it."

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'

'We already have a helper monkey for that.'

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

"What is that creepy sound?" "Don't worry. It's just the ghost of the old dishwasher."

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

"You call that a made bed?"

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

'I TOLD you not to wash it in warm water!'

Feel free to have a wash but this time please do not leave the bath smelling of ham.

"I would be happy to help you with the dishes, Mom, but I'm afraid I'd get water in my phone."

"It's your own fault! Remember when I told you to wash that shirt in cold water?"

"Does he like those shorts you bought him for Christmas?"

'Did they have anything at the job centre?'

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'