Outdoor Chores Gifts

'By the time I get the mower working my weekend is over!'

"I shoveled the driveway like you asked me to."

Yardless: Please help

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"This is defifitely not going on my facebook likes."

"But....but....isn't that a puff of cloud I see approaching?"

'I'll swear you've been willing that cloudburst on us . . !'

HA HA

"I #*#*#* hate gardening, I'd much rather be at work!!"

"It's going to be in the forties today, Herb... A good day to scape the driveway, shovel off the roof, take down the Christmas lights..."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

The Missing Sock Returns

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"First time pruning?"

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

'Dang it, I just washed this street. Boy, every time...'

When laundry ruled the waves.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

Kitchen Tetris

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"He loves his leaf blower."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Relaxing in the Sun

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

Conservation Area

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Lawnmower