Yard Chores Gifts

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"First time pruning?"

Gardener

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

When laundry ruled the waves.

Yardless: Please help

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"He loves his leaf blower."

The Last Leaf

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

Lawnmower

Conservation Area

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

Okay, dig that one up!

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"Mulch madness"

Beginning Yarder.

'Hey, are you like me? Do you hate mowing around trees? ell, then THIS is the machine for you!'

"Must get a longer cable."

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

A man raking his lawn watches as the leaves climb back into the trees.

'George! This way quick!'

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe