Yard Chores Pillows

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Gardener

"First time pruning?"

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

When laundry ruled the waves.

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Yardless: Please help

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

The Last Leaf

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

"He loves his leaf blower."

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

Conservation Area

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

Lawnmower

Okay, dig that one up!

Beginning Yarder.

"Mulch madness"

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

"Must get a longer cable."

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

A man raking his lawn watches as the leaves climb back into the trees.

'George! This way quick!'

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

Futile Little Snow Shoveler Guy Snow Globe

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

'Whenever Mat gets a little over-confident, I tell him to try to fold a fitted bed sheet.'