Yard Work Gifts

"When it comes to blowing leaves around uselessly and creating an insane amount of noise, this model can't be beat."

"Summer is over, Richard, so deal with it and start raking!"

'Wouldn't it be funny if it was just out of gas?'

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

'To answer your question, I'll do indoors when they produce a home sit-on motorized carpet-cleaner.'

Neighbors tossing leaves over fence.

"Hear that? First lawnmower of spring!"

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'Turn your leaf blower down, dear.'

'If they are called 'leaves', why do we have to rake them up? Why don't they just leave?'

Watering a plant in the rain.

"Rachel! If you can't even stay focused on spreading peat moss, how do you expect to get into law school?"

'It never fails. As soon as I get in the bath, someone's at the door.'

The lawn mowing industry was ripe for innovation.

"Must get a longer cable."

Spring/Summer/Winter

'OK... I know that lawnmower's in here somewhere...'

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

'Stop! Stop! It's only July.'

"I need one louder than the one my neighbor's got."

"Leave your weekends open. I'll be dropping a lot more of these."

Bed Hammock

'You have to mow it.'

'Ken's back was bent at a rakish angle'

"I've found the lawnmower!"

"Let's go, this is definitely a manicured lawn: we won't find clover or dandelions here..."

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

"This year I'm just planting the little signs."

'It's a perfect day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the lawnmower is broken.'

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

'Do you want the leaf blower?'

'There's no Labor Day holiday for 'honey-do's'.'

Okay, dig that one up!

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"