Yard Work Guru Gifts

"They just keep falling. It's as though they're mocking me with their hideous persistence. I know they hate me, hahaha! You'll all be sorry..." "Leaf insanity"

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"First time pruning?"

Gardener

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"He loves his leaf blower."

The Last Leaf

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Lawnmower

Conservation Area

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

Okay, dig that one up!

Beginning Yarder.

"Mulch madness"

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"Must get a longer cable."

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

A man raking his lawn watches as the leaves climb back into the trees.

'George! This way quick!'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

"Basically, I'm looking for a beer can holder with a mower built around it."