Yardwork Wizard Gifts

Spring/Summer/Winter

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Gardener

"First time pruning?"

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"He loves his leaf blower."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Irritable trowel syndrome.

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

Lawnmower

'He works out aggression by bayoneting the leaves.'

Conservation Area

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

Okay, dig that one up!

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

"Mulch madness"

Beginning Yarder.

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

"Must get a longer cable."

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

'... and we're also having a sale on do-it-yourself emergency surgery kits.'

A man raking his lawn watches as the leaves climb back into the trees.

'George! This way quick!'

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

'I imagine you'd like to hear about my progress...'

"Al emerged from his man cave and saw crabgrass. That means 6 months of obsessing about crabgrass."

'I'd recommend the 9 tine.'

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"