Oscar Observer Gifts

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"Are we there yet?"

Olly really didn't know his arse from his elbow.

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

"You may enjoy swimming with the dolphins, Howard, but do they enjoy swimming with you?"

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

"Dad! I can't believe we come to the beach and you set up all the way out here! I can barely see the ocean...we're so far from the wa..."

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

Fish tank filled with sardines.

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"Not more sleeve alterations?!"

"Did you know that the average mainstream news portal devotes more space to the oscar in a day than to climate change coverage in the entire year?"

May I have the envelope, please?

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Thru The Eyes Of A Lifeguard.

Evolution into a pair of sandals.

"Oh, for crying out loud, Lou... just go in the water!"

Fish Feeding Frenzy

Astronaut Selfie.

"Next year, I'm pleasuring myself."