Orb Observer Gifts

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

"What should we do with this extra part?"

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"Look at that ant farm! I love the ants' little overalls!

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

Gone to seed.

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

Go Back to New York

Cat and Squirrel on Screen Door.

An orca tries to infiltrate the penguin camp.

Impractical Gardener.

Space junk.

'How can you be so cheap?'

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

Oculist.

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

"Oh, man. Ha ha! The look on your face when that squirrel turned around and started chasing you!"

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'