Orb Observer Pillows

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

Squirrel Tapping On Window Demanding Food.

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

"What should we do with this extra part?"

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"Look at that ant farm! I love the ants' little overalls!

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

Gone to seed.

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

"You didn't post anything on social media today. So, the church sent someone over to witness miracle."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

'Why is there a 'Like' button but no 'Despise' button?'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

No, I don't think they throw those up here for us.

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

Go Back to New York

Cat and Squirrel on Screen Door.

An orca tries to infiltrate the penguin camp.

Space junk.

Impractical Gardener.

"Oh, man. Ha ha! The look on your face when that squirrel turned around and started chasing you!"

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

'How can you be so cheap?'

"Good lord! Four of my dearest Facebook friends died last week!"

If a tweet is sent out and no one signs up to read it, does it exist? Happens millions of times a day.

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

Oculist.