Orbital Observer Gifts

God's Fly Swat...

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

Crisis.

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

Astronaut Selfie.

Gone to seed.

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

Sure, Jupiter's the biggest, but I hear he uses Asteroids to build up his bulk!

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

Voyeurs guide to the Cosmos (stars in the shape of a sexy woman).

'Asteroid, asteroid!' ... 'Fore!'

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

'...I think I found Ursa Major.'

Neuro Surgery. Staff only. Sorry, that took longer than I expected --- He has a lot of nerve!

Atlas juggling with the moon.

Oculist.

Space junk.

"Yee-ouch! That's gotta hurt."

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

'Do you ever catch yourself wondering if this is all part of some crazy experiment?' (God looking at Earth through microscope)