Orbital Observer Gifts

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"Lately, I've been trying to spend less time staring at the glowing orb."

'Of course the Johnsons got the big cloud.'

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'Perhaps I was a bit too graphic in describing the surgical procedure.'

A football game appears on the operating theatres monitor instead of the patients heartbeat.

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

Astronaut Selfie.

"Don't worry, Jules. It'll come up on your side of the house in just 12 hours."

Crisis.

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

Gone to seed.

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

'Asteroid, asteroid!' ... 'Fore!'

Voyeurs guide to the Cosmos (stars in the shape of a sexy woman).

'The doctors said you were so nervous about the operation they had to give you a tranquiliser.'

'...I think I found Ursa Major.'

Oculist.

Atlas juggling with the moon.

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

Space junk.

"Yee-ouch! That's gotta hurt."

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

'Do you ever catch yourself wondering if this is all part of some crazy experiment?' (God looking at Earth through microscope)

"That's the Crab nebula and that's the 'load of dots that don't look like anything much' nebula!"