Space Observers Gifts

"Honey, would you come out here for a minute?"

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

"Move along please. There's nothing to see here!"

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

"Oh crap, my mood ring!"

Astronaut Selfie.

"I can hear some rattling: Better start writing those birth notices Darling..."

"No aliens"

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

"Man, they can't do anything right. Half the countries are underdeveloped. The other half are overdeveloped."

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

A spider meal prepping

It's only a can of mace. If you don't learn to stop overreacting, we'll never fit in.

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

"Another fly-over planet."

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

'This new star sends out periodic pulses in a very appealing rhythm -- I think I'll name it 'Bossa Nova.''

'Asteroid, asteroid!' ... 'Fore!'

"Should't we have a better backup system in case our monitoring equipment goes down than a bowl of jello?"

Space junk.

Your karma will catch up with you!

"Sir, there's a crack in our lens!"

'...I think I found Ursa Major.'

'Do you ever catch yourself wondering if this is all part of some crazy experiment?' (God looking at Earth through microscope)

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'