Space Observation Gifts

'No, I'm afraid that's not a new constellation. It's just a cluster of satellites.'

'Asteroid, asteroid!' ... 'Fore!'

"What the... mine are lunar eclipse glasses!"

I've been searching the sky all night and haven't seen one sign of life! But, Frank the lens cap is still on! Oh, good, there's still hope I'm not the only intelligent being in the universe!

"Sir, there's a crack in our lens!"

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

"Is anything good on?"

Astronaut Selfie.

"This is Matt with your five day forecast, on location."

"Man, they can't do anything right. Half the countries are underdeveloped. The other half are overdeveloped."

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

'No, I'm not into astronomy. That telescope is for you to see your new parking spot.'

Astronomers using giant telescope to light fires.

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

A very young mariner. A young mariner. An ancient mariner.

It's only a can of mace. If you don't learn to stop overreacting, we'll never fit in.

"Another fly-over planet."

'This new star sends out periodic pulses in a very appealing rhythm -- I think I'll name it 'Bossa Nova.''

"Should't we have a better backup system in case our monitoring equipment goes down than a bowl of jello?"

Space junk.

'...I think I found Ursa Major.'

God's Fly Swat...

You always keep the same face turned this way --- Don't you trust me?

'Do you ever catch yourself wondering if this is all part of some crazy experiment?' (God looking at Earth through microscope)

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

Glass Bottom Earth Tours

"Well, of course you feel like you are - We ARE all just going around in circles!"

'We're polluting our ozone. Our icecaps are getting bigger, the oceans are shrinking....All because of our addiction to oxygen!'

"Can I help you?"

"I told you not to look directly at the sun!"

Snobs at the Seaside, Pt. 1

"It makes a four star restaurant look pretty damn small and insignificant."