Oscar Analyst Gifts

Giving an Oscar to an animal actor would put the academy awards into context.

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Have you tried biting him?"

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

Tom Hanks

'And the Award goes to...Ewww...him?'

Martin Scorsese

Renee Zellweger as Judy Garland

May I have the envelope, please?

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

Barbie Oscars

"Did you know that the average mainstream news portal devotes more space to the oscar in a day than to climate change coverage in the entire year?"

Alicia Vikander

Djargo.

Will Smith's Oscar

Oscar Victory

On the red carpet

Geoffrey Rush

An orca tries to infiltrate the penguin camp.

The Oscars

"And the Oscar for best wardrobe in a film based on a 17th century picaresque novel goes to..."

' ... and I'd like to thank the Academy.'

Will Smith's Oscar

"At an event some chick publicly badmouthed my husband. I didn't run on stage to knock the lady down because she was right."

'...And now the award for best performance by a politician trying to improve his or her poll numbers...'

An awkward moment at Seaworld.

'We worship celebrity!' People bow down in front of a TV showing the academy awards.

"We went with an open floor plan because it can really facilitate a shared sense of hysteria."

'Why do they make asprin so blindingly white.'

Andrew Garfield

Power of the dog

"He's still upset there's no Oscar for 'most movies watched while eating pizza'."

USA-NATO Confetti Corporation

"I was awarded this Oscar for my presentation of an Oscar at the Oscars."

Celebrity Worship Service.