Orthopedics Gifts

'That's my trick knee.'

Joint Replacement Specialist has 3 boxes on desk: "Hip", "Hip", "Hooray."

'Offhand, Mr. Jenkins, I'd say you're pigeon-toed!'

"We were lucky to find that flamingo joint for your knee replacement."

Please use other doorman.

MD. We fixed your leg. It

The Cello Victims

"I hope your cast is not itchy, Stacy. I had an itchy cast on my arm once and it itched ALL the time. It felt like crawling ants! Itchy, itchy, itchy..."

Orthopaedist

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

"I stand corrected."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

'Very funny!'

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

"Stacked coffee cups look like a spine. This is why the more coffee you drink, the easier it is to stand up and keep yourself awake."

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Egyptian chiropractor.

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

'I just invented the 'chair' - It relieves lower back pain!'

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'While doing the ' Hoxey-Pokey' I put my right hip in...I put my right hip out, and rhat's where it stayed!'

"I'm afraid, Mr. Cottontail, that all that hopping down the bunny trail has taken a toll on your hips."