Orthopaedic Gifts

"But baby...you look so hot in them!"

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"I AM at my usual position."

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

"She fell down stairs again, so this is her third hip."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'See? The idiots put my danged knee replacement in backward!'

No caption. (Man wearing a cast is in traction. He imagines sheep lining up to jump fence. Sheep also wear casts.)

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

"I stand corrected."

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

'Very funny!'

Beer Order

'Time for your pills.'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

'That's our Rex - he loves to dog paddle.'

"I'm sorry, Chuckles. We had to remove your funny bone."

'Oh, well... Accidents will happen.'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

"I'm afraid you need knee surgery."

"It's probably a fracture - we'll do some imaging on it just to be sure."

Egyptian chiropractor.

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

'So you're off to see the chiropodist... the only time in your life you shouldn't put your best foot forward!'

"'IF modom decides to change it' - don't you mean WHEN??"

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"I'm afraid, Mr. Cottontail, that all that hopping down the bunny trail has taken a toll on your hips."

'Having eight hands should be a big advantage, but unfortunately, I am not so well coordinated...'