Organizational Misfit Gifts

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

He's my vaguely familiar.

Dating site - buy a dog.

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

Wait, I think I'm doing this backward.

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

"My goodness, Mr. Merryweather, we certainly did make a boo-boo with that prescription of yours!"

"I don't think this guy is even remotely capable of getting a clue."

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

"he was a computer error of the Computer Dating Service"

'I don't fit where I belong.'

'We seem to have finished our business early so I may as well spend the rest of the meeting telling you about my holiday and the extension we're building.'

'It's a case of wrongful arrest - you haven't had a heart attack.'

How about listening to music to help you exercise? Ok. I'll make you a playlist. Who do you like? Bach. Wow, nana. You are so hip! I haven't even heard him yet. He's an indie rocker, right? Very indie!

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'