Corporate Misfit Gifts

'I don't fit where I belong.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

"Just the galoshes and coat, Timmy."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

He's my vaguely familiar.

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

"My goodness, Mr. Merryweather, we certainly did make a boo-boo with that prescription of yours!"

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

'It's a case of wrongful arrest - you haven't had a heart attack.'

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

'Okay, so we went over the top with it, but our PR team said it would generate a lot of buzz.'

STRIP *Bloomerbery Money * Bad fund manager