Musical Misfit Gifts

'I don't understand that 'C' in music. I sing louder than anyone else.'

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

Authentic American Diner: 'Jello, ah said jello!'

"How is the new hearing aid?"

All's well that ends well

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

He's my vaguely familiar.

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

The Island of Misfit Pants

"I don't think this guy is even remotely capable of getting a clue."

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

How about listening to music to help you exercise? Ok. I'll make you a playlist. Who do you like? Bach. Wow, nana. You are so hip! I haven't even heard him yet. He's an indie rocker, right? Very indie!

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

'I don't fit where I belong.'

"When I recommended you join a gym...I didn't mean as a member of the board!"

"I said, you missed a belt loop."