Musical Misfit Pillows

'I don't understand that 'C' in music. I sing louder than anyone else.'

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

"How is the new hearing aid?"

All's well that ends well

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

He's my vaguely familiar.

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

The Island of Misfit Pants

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

'I don't fit where I belong.'

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

"When I recommended you join a gym...I didn't mean as a member of the board!"

The Illiterate's Club.

I Will Not Text In Class # Mean Teacher

"No stamp on you voice mail, Mr. Figgis."

"I didn't know it was casual wing day."

"I said, you missed a belt loop."

"John isn't very mechanical."