Magical Misfit Pillows

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

He's my vaguely familiar.

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

"How is the new hearing aid?"

The Island of Misfit Pants

All's well that ends well

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

'It's a case of wrongful arrest - you haven't had a heart attack.'

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."