Mischievous Misfit Pillows

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

Meowlzebub

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

Misery lit...

'Nice of them to invite us to a dance.'

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

'Looks like a chipmonk.'

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'We were mud wrestling.'

How to avoid a heart attack.

Killing Santa

Law Books

Children playing in a library

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Cut it out!'

I shall not insult my stupid, fat, idiotic, ugly, lousy teacher...

'How many times have I told you not to play with matches?'

'Dad! What time is it when the big hand is on eight and the little hand is all over the floor?'

Leaving pet shop, boy says to puppy: 'You're my bitch now.'

Watch for Children.

He's my vaguely familiar.

"When I run away, put my picture on t-shirts instead of milk cartons."

"He really likes to play with the mice before he kills them"