Magical Misfits Pillows

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

Whatever!

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

"Broom! Broom!"

"It's my wife - she's trying to lure ships to their doom!"

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

Something beautiful comes out of a big mess.

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

'What's my fortune then?!

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

He's my vaguely familiar.

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

The Island of Misfit Pants

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

He was raised by a pack of wolves, and the cleaning lady who came in twice a month.

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

'-and leave the money in used notes in the left luggage department...'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."