Mythical Misfit Pillows

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

He's my vaguely familiar.

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

The Island of Misfit Pants

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

"No stamp on you voice mail, Mr. Figgis."

"I didn't know it was casual wing day."

"I said, you missed a belt loop."