Mythical Misplacer Pillows

'Where's my glove?'

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

"Great - already running late and then this happens."

Angler poses with mermaid catch.

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

God creates humans.

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

'Well, there went Atlantis -- I told You not to use low bidder!'

"Here's the problem, I grabbed the wrong map. This isn't the Fountain of Youth. This is the Fountain of Middle Age."

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

Saint Patrick sending snakes out of Ireland.

"I feel like Brunnhilde, but in 'The Kentucky Cycle.'"

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

A trap for Santa

He's my vaguely familiar.

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

Fisherman takes home the mermaid he caught.

'You know that rare specimen you lost - I think I've found it!'

Acorn...unacorn.

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

'We'll be planning to invade Ecuador as soon as I can find it on the map.'

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

"Well, it seems that St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes out of Ireland."

'Duck.'

"...and on line 14 you claim 42 arrows and a battle ax as pillaging expenses, but on line 50 you claim them again under arsenal depreciation."

Image of devil on poster with caption 'Wanted Undead or Alive'.

"Let's see how many times I can get this guy to use my name in vain."

"Hey, wait a minute! This isn't the way to the airport."

"Remember, they're usually in the last place you'd look."