Mythical Misplacer T-Shirts

"I'll help you find your glasses after I find my horn."

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

'Where's my glove?'

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

"Great - already running late and then this happens."

Angler poses with mermaid catch.

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

God creates humans.

'Well, there went Atlantis -- I told You not to use low bidder!'

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

Saint Patrick sending snakes out of Ireland.

"Here's the problem, I grabbed the wrong map. This isn't the Fountain of Youth. This is the Fountain of Middle Age."

Greek Gods New Years. It's another fun new year's eve up here! Yeah, everybody is getting ready for the big moment. Zeus is preparing a thunder and lightning show to ring in the new year. And Aphrodite is pairing off couples of the new year's kiss. It's great up here, but it'll be a rough start to the new year down on earth. Why? At midnight Atlas will drop the ball!

"I feel like Brunnhilde, but in 'The Kentucky Cycle.'"

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

A trap for Santa

He's my vaguely familiar.

Noah's AARP.

Fisherman takes home the mermaid he caught.

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."

Santa's sleigh up on cinder blocks.

'You know that rare specimen you lost - I think I've found it!'

Acorn...unacorn.

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

'We'll be planning to invade Ecuador as soon as I can find it on the map.'

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

"Well, it seems that St. Patrick didn't drive all the snakes out of Ireland."

'Duck.'

"...and on line 14 you claim 42 arrows and a battle ax as pillaging expenses, but on line 50 you claim them again under arsenal depreciation."

Image of devil on poster with caption 'Wanted Undead or Alive'.

"Let's see how many times I can get this guy to use my name in vain."

'Can I drop you somewhere?'