Mobile Misplacer Pillows

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."

'Where's my glove?'

'The problem with migrating is that the roaming charges for my mobile phone are enormous...'

Leaping

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"I lost my reading glasses, so pick something wordless."

"Hmm, most common places old farts leave their glasses and car keys!!"

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

'Sorry I'm late. My van broke down and I didn't know how to fix it.'

"Yes, I would love you more if you didn't make mobiles out of old cutlery and beads."

"Well, I'll be darned. They had just walked away."

'You know that rare specimen you lost - I think I've found it!'

The Tour de Pants.

'We'll be planning to invade Ecuador as soon as I can find it on the map.'

"Forgot my keys."

'This could get tricky, sir — your luggage accidentally went to Ralph Nader!'

'I finally got tired enough of your always misplacing your keys to do something about it.'

"Remember, they're usually in the last place you'd look."

"Busy working—get lost!"

I Will Not Text In Class # Mean Teacher

'I never should have downloaded that Mafia ring tone.'

'Oh, my god! I forgot my suitcase!'

"Your keys are in your purse? I think it will be quicker to call a locksmith!"

Lost and Found: 'Now where did I put my keys'

"I can offer you an upgrade to our dearer plan with absolutely no benefits to you whatsoever over a two year period!"

"You're right! I have left something at home - me wallet!"

Bill beat his brains out trying to find his keys.

"I locked the keys inside -- Do you have a bobby pin?"

"Can you just tell me where I put my keys?"