Wallet Misplacer Pillows

"You're right! I have left something at home - me wallet!"

Rising Gas Prices

'Where's my glove?'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

"So I misplaced a couple hundred Bitcoin. Maybe the dog ate the wallet. I din't know. S**t happens!"

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

Too Much Plastic.

"Rest assured we invest your money as if it were our own. Can I borrow 50 bucks?"

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

"Hmm, most common places old farts leave their glasses and car keys!!"

"I lost my reading glasses, so pick something wordless."

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

'Next on the five O'clock news, a consumer report on how to protect what's in your wallet.'

Thanks for the tip. Come again!

"Clean your wallet, sir?"

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

"This next song is about being unable to find your car keys. . ."

"Good dog!"

"So your soccer team lost...big deal! I lose things all the time!"

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

'I can't make ends meet, let alone justify the means.'

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."

'I can't find my keys!'

"Well, I'll be darned. They had just walked away."

'You know that rare specimen you lost - I think I've found it!'

The Tour de Pants.

'This could get tricky, sir — your luggage accidentally went to Ralph Nader!'

'Rats, I don't have any change either...'