Professional Misplacer Pillows

"Remember, they're usually in the last place you'd look."

'Where's my glove?'

A house being demolished in order to make way for a road widening scheme, with the occupants being evicted.

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

Please use another building entirely

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

The company relocated - didn't they tell you?

"Do you realize this is the third time we've gotten mad at the government and moved to Canada for good?"

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

"Hmm, most common places old farts leave their glasses and car keys!!"

"Actually, when I wangled a transfer to the Los Angeles office, I expected palm trees and ocean."

"I lost my reading glasses, so pick something wordless."

'Do you realize this is the third time we've packed up and moved to Canada?'

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

'George...George! Have you seen the fly-spray anywhere?'

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."

"Well, I'll be darned. They had just walked away."

'You know that rare specimen you lost - I think I've found it!'

The Tour de Pants.

'We'll be planning to invade Ecuador as soon as I can find it on the map.'

'This could get tricky, sir — your luggage accidentally went to Ralph Nader!'

"Forgot my keys."

'Duck.'

'Oh, my god! I forgot my suitcase!'

'I finally got tired enough of your always misplacing your keys to do something about it.'

"Your keys are in your purse? I think it will be quicker to call a locksmith!"

Lost and Found: 'Now where did I put my keys'

"You're right! I have left something at home - me wallet!"

"I locked the keys inside -- Do you have a bobby pin?"

Bill beat his brains out trying to find his keys.

How Professionals Move Things