Professional Misplacer Gifts

"Remember, they're usually in the last place you'd look."

'Where's my glove?'

A house being demolished in order to make way for a road widening scheme, with the occupants being evicted.

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

Please use another building entirely

"I'll help you find your glasses after I find my horn."

F&E Building Movers. Ever moved a church before? The hardest part is the organ transplant.

"That's not all I do. Actually I'm a psychological counselor- gymnast-motivational speaker-relaxation therapist-sex worker."

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

The company relocated - didn't they tell you?

"Do you realize this is the third time we've gotten mad at the government and moved to Canada for good?"

"I lost my reading glasses, so pick something wordless."

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

"Actually, when I wangled a transfer to the Los Angeles office, I expected palm trees and ocean."

"Hmm, most common places old farts leave their glasses and car keys!!"

'Lost the keys?! You IDIOT!...'

'Do you realize this is the third time we've packed up and moved to Canada?'

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."

'George...George! Have you seen the fly-spray anywhere?'

"Well, I'll be darned. They had just walked away."

'You know that rare specimen you lost - I think I've found it!'

The Tour de Pants.

'This could get tricky, sir — your luggage accidentally went to Ralph Nader!'

"Forgot my keys."

'We'll be planning to invade Ecuador as soon as I can find it on the map.'

'Duck.'

'Oh, my god! I forgot my suitcase!'

'I finally got tired enough of your always misplacing your keys to do something about it.'

"Your keys are in your purse? I think it will be quicker to call a locksmith!"

Lost and Found: 'Now where did I put my keys'

"You're right! I have left something at home - me wallet!"

"I locked the keys inside -- Do you have a bobby pin?"

Bill beat his brains out trying to find his keys.