Glasses Misplacer Pillows

"Well, I'll be darned. They had just walked away."

"I lost my reading glasses, so pick something wordless."

"Hmm, most common places old farts leave their glasses and car keys!!"

"Talk nerdy to me."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

'Where's my glove?'

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'I think the eye doctor got my prescription glasses mixed up with somebody else's.'

Norman's decision to raise chickens first in the back yard, then the front yard and eventually the living room would cause great dismay the day his car keys went missing.

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

'He was a lousy watch dog until we realized he was near sighted.'

'My eyesight was getting worse, but thanks to my new glasses, I can play 'Monkey see, Monkey do' again...'

'Your Majesty, the Pretender to the Throne is here.'

Contacts vs. Glasses

'Can I use your mantra today? - I forgot mine.'

Sorry, what did you say? This new double glazing will be good for noise reduction!

"This next song is about being unable to find your car keys. . ."

'I'd like to buy a vowel.'

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

"I can't find my stupid phone, so leave a message..."

'I can't find my keys!'

It appears that the victim was a nerd

"So your soccer team lost...big deal! I lose things all the time!"

"Any idea where I left my reading glasses?"

'You know that rare specimen you lost - I think I've found it!'

The Tour de Pants.

"Forgot my keys."

'This could get tricky, sir — your luggage accidentally went to Ralph Nader!'

'We'll be planning to invade Ecuador as soon as I can find it on the map.'

'Duck.'