Mobile Mischief-maker Pillows

'Sorree can't chat - got no credit.'

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'Outside with that!'

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

'Have you tried hitting Ctrl-Alt-Delete?'

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Occupational Hazards.

Knights

'In the middle of the second movement, Rodney's worst fears were realized; Phillippe began to sing along.'

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"I'm in the national team...not because I'm a good player, but because everybody panics when I start singing the anthem!"

"It's an app that lets me pointlessly knock things off tables when I'm not at home."

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Timpani for the devil

Mozart swimming.

Son hacks into computer to get a job

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

Squeaker Trophies

'Look out for the park ranger while Bernie and I chop us some firewood!'

Frankie the discount genie

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

'Hey kid, what are you in for?'

'I never dreamed that Lady Godiva would run AGAINST me!'