Tiny Mischief Maker Pillows

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

Newt sale

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

Oh no ... Outsourcing

'Outside with that!'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'Come to think of it son, there's not a single spot in this backyard I've not dug out sometime...'

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

What have you done with the spare filter paper, please? I've made you a hat miss!

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

The invisible man makes a pancake

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

'I'd like an older brother, please.'

Frankie the discount genie

'Hey kid, what are you in for?'

'You're the only person I know who takes divots on the green.'

'Grandma says she has the perfect wrestler nickname for me. What does Tiny Terror mean?'

Aircraft accidentally hits a witch.

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'

"No, no, no! My old 45 records do not belong in the craft box!"

"Just think, in dog years we'd be old enough to know better!"

"Can you come over here for a second and give this a pained look?"

'No pennies.'

One C Battery, Two Double A's.