Mix-up Misfit Pillows

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Sorry, that's not my table."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

'Eh...our costume party was last Saturday!'

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

'I suppose you're going to tell me I need new contact lenses.'

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

Dating site - buy a dog.

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

'You say it's milk, oh, oh, I must have hooked up the wrong pipes.'

'Continue to support sex education in the schools if you want to, but Billy just told me that he resulted when your sperm met my omelet.'

'Why am I here, nurse? I just wanted a replacement for my organ.'

He's my vaguely familiar.

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

"No, this is not 'returns,' and that's not a receipt … it's a birth certificate!"

'George...George! Have you seen the fly-spray anywhere?'

"How is the new hearing aid?"

All's well that ends well

"Sorry! There's been some mistake. It's elves we're looking for!...Elves!"

"Please forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles. Will the happy couple please step forward?"

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

'You're right. It does look infected. But I'm just the janitor.'

"Do you call this a party! I've been to livelier funerals!"

'Eh Darling. Why is the goldfish in the cats bowl?'