Creative Misfit Gifts

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

"Just the galoshes and coat, Timmy."

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

He's my vaguely familiar.

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

"How is the new hearing aid?"

All's well that ends well

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

'I don't fit where I belong.'

"When I recommended you join a gym...I didn't mean as a member of the board!"

"I said, you missed a belt loop."

The Illiterate's Club.