Creative Misfit Gifts

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

"Just the galoshes and coat, Timmy."

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

He's my vaguely familiar.

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

All's well that ends well

"I don't think this guy is even remotely capable of getting a clue."

"How is the new hearing aid?"

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

How about listening to music to help you exercise? Ok. I'll make you a playlist. Who do you like? Bach. Wow, nana. You are so hip! I haven't even heard him yet. He's an indie rocker, right? Very indie!

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

'I don't fit where I belong.'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

"When I recommended you join a gym...I didn't mean as a member of the board!"

"I said, you missed a belt loop."

The Illiterate's Club.