Music Misfit Gifts

The Illiterate's Club.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

He's my vaguely familiar.

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

"I don't think this guy is even remotely capable of getting a clue."

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

'I don't fit where I belong.'

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

How about listening to music to help you exercise? Ok. I'll make you a playlist. Who do you like? Bach. Wow, nana. You are so hip! I haven't even heard him yet. He's an indie rocker, right? Very indie!

'It's a case of wrongful arrest - you haven't had a heart attack.'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."