Modern Misfit Gifts

"No stamp on you voice mail, Mr. Figgis."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'The school. My counselor told me to make the most of it...'

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

Whatever!

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

"Just the galoshes and coat, Timmy."

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

He's my vaguely familiar.

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

"I don't think this guy is even remotely capable of getting a clue."

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

How about listening to music to help you exercise? Ok. I'll make you a playlist. Who do you like? Bach. Wow, nana. You are so hip! I haven't even heard him yet. He's an indie rocker, right? Very indie!

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

'I don't fit where I belong.'

"When I recommended you join a gym...I didn't mean as a member of the board!"