Social Misfit Gifts

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Our silences aren't awkward enough.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

"Just the galoshes and coat, Timmy."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

He's my vaguely familiar.

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

All's well that ends well

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

"How is the new hearing aid?"

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

'It's a case of wrongful arrest - you haven't had a heart attack.'

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

'I don't fit where I belong.'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

'Okay, so we went over the top with it, but our PR team said it would generate a lot of buzz.'

"When I recommended you join a gym...I didn't mean as a member of the board!"

"I said, you missed a belt loop."