Social Misfit Sympathizers Gifts

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

'If this is 'Office Team Day' why are we wearing different colours?'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

He's my vaguely familiar.

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

Mayakovskiy V.V.

Rebels without causes: Lorem ipsum, T.B.D., Insert slogan here

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

"I don't think this guy is even remotely capable of getting a clue."

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

"It's the story of my life: A round peg in a square pants family!"

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

"I got a ticket in California for asking a lactose intolerant woman to say cheese, before taking her picture."

Authentic American Diner: 'Jello, ah said jello!'

"No stamp on you voice mail, Mr. Figgis."