Mystical Misfit Gifts

He's my vaguely familiar.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

Whatever!

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"Eye of newt. . . wing of bat. . . hair of dog!"

'... No, actually. He's short, blond and ugly.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

"O.K., I'm off to do some running and off-key singing."

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

"I'm pretty sure the definition leadership is the use of anger to motivate those who are already miserable."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

The Island of Misfit Pants

"How is the new hearing aid?"

All's well that ends well

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

'It's a case of wrongful arrest - you haven't had a heart attack.'

How about listening to music to help you exercise? Ok. I'll make you a playlist. Who do you like? Bach. Wow, nana. You are so hip! I haven't even heard him yet. He's an indie rocker, right? Very indie!

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

',,,'Sidekick' not a psychic'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."