Cultural Misfits Gifts

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

Whatever!

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

He's my vaguely familiar.

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

'Sorry. We have no senor discount.'

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

'I don't fit where I belong.'

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

"I said, you missed a belt loop."

"Oh, BUDDHIST camp. Our bad, Cap'n."