Cultural Misfits Gifts

"I mean, why even live in the city if you're not going to do New York City things?"

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

Whatever!

Rudy Park Enterprises regrets to announce the end to a brief experiment aimed at combining the popular and irrepressible talk show phenomenon Sadie Cohen with a background beat of powerful and thrilling house music. In fact, our ratings soared during our experiment. Revenue shot up 17.5 percent. Advertisers loved it. Our decision to cancel the experiment in no way reflects any error of management. Rather, it was a raging success reflective of our forward thinking management. In the end, though,

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

"I know that on-line dating service claims a 90% success rate, but let's face it, Henry, we're in that other ten percent!"

"But aside from the lycanthropy, things have been pretty O.K."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

He's my vaguely familiar.

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

'Sorry. We have no senor discount.'

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

"I don't think this guy is even remotely capable of getting a clue."

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

"Airplane Mode doesn't work. I threw your phone out the window and it didn't fly."

'I don't fit where I belong.'

How about listening to music to help you exercise? Ok. I'll make you a playlist. Who do you like? Bach. Wow, nana. You are so hip! I haven't even heard him yet. He's an indie rocker, right? Very indie!

'Stop calling us monsters already. We're comfort eaters!'

"Those are good, but the fire department doesn’t really need a sketch artist."

Authentic American Diner: 'Jello, ah said jello!'

"I said, you missed a belt loop."